Alex Zagami: Portfolio Plan:

1.) For my Research paper I would have more sources for support. I would also have clearer and more contained support paragraphs. I would maybe have paragraph topics included such as how people often use the Internet out of boredom, how many people are affected by some of the Internet Addictions I listed in my paper. Both of these would also increase the length of my paper.

2.) For my reflective essay I plan on reviewing over my past papers and identifying my mistakes and bad habits so I can clearly say how I understand what I commonly do in writing essays and how I now can or have improved in my writing abilities.

3.) I am going to choose my Exemplification essay for my portfolio because I got the highest grade on that paper and because it has many mistakes and achievements that I can reflect over, which would be appropriate for my reflective essay.

Portfolio Plan - Mike Carey 11/13/14

1. What I want to change in the reserch paper is a few things, I want to make it more factual and have more sources to cite from to help my argument and make it more clear instead of long winded. I also need to eliminate or at least cut down drasticly on my use of the words "you" , "us, we" and not address the reader directly.

2. Haven't really started it yet to be honest.

3. I would like to put in my descriptive essay because I feel I'm better at describing things in detail and exaggerating a little bit to help the readers imagination visualize a place.

4.

In class reflective reverse - Mike Carey 11/11/14

This paper never really makes a strong argument thesis; it has a very broad verity of topics but nothing that really makes one point strongly or a freaking point.  It has a lot of use of the words “us” and “you” a lot; it’s almost as if I talk about the entire population as one person.  On the opposite side of the spectrum I also use “they” a lot making it seem like there are good people and bad people when trying to make a point instead of backing it with raw facts.  More facts behind statements instead of opinion.  Citation is awful! Needs a lot of work on proper citation and more than just one person being cited in the paper.  Finally spend more time on the meat and potatoes, find more facts and more sources and cite them correctly, but ultimately pick a solid topic that clear points can be made on.  AND SERIOUSLY STOP ADDRESSING THE READER DIRECTLY!. Until you learn how to use it right.

video blog post 11/6/14

here ya go!

by Alex and Mike

Alex - writer, director
Mike- actor, editor

https://vimeo.com/111137674